Transcript
If you have your place in 1 Kings 5, hold your place there and just listen closely while I read from Proverbs 27:10. It happens that Proverbs 27:10 is related to what we were looking at today. You don't need to necessarily look it up unless you want to. I'll just read it to you.
Do not forsake your own friend or your father's friend, nor go to your brother's house in the day of your calamity; better is a neighbor nearby than a brother far away.
I'm particularly interested in the first part of this, “Do not forsake your own friend or your father's friend.”
Now let's read 1 Kings 5:
Now Hiram king of Tyre sent his servants to Solomon, because he heard that they had anointed him king in place of his father, for Hiram had always loved David. Notice this expression, “Hiram had always loved David.” But this could be translated, “Hiram had always been a friend of David.” In the Hebrew language the word for “friend” means “somebody who loves you,” which is a good definition of a friend. I think as good as you can get. And so the reference here is not only to the fact that Hiram loved David, but that Hiram was David's friend.
Then Solomon sent to Hiram, saying, ‘You know how my father David could not build a house for the name of the Lord His God because of the wars which were fought against him on every side, until the Lord put His foes under the soles of his feet. But now the Lord My God has given me rest on every side; there is neither adversary nor evil occurrence. And behold, I propose to build a house for the name of the Lord My God, as the Lord spoke to my father David, saying, “Your son, whom I will set on your throne in your place, he shall build the house for My name.” Now therefore, command that they cut down cedars for me from Lebanon; and my servants will be with your servants, and I will pay you wages for your servants according to whatever you say. For you know there is none among us who has skill to cut timber like the Sidonians.’
So it was, when Hiram heard the words of Solomon, that he rejoiced greatly and said, ‘Blessed be the Lord this day, for He has given David a wise son over this great people!’ Then Hiram sent to Solomon, saying, ‘I have considered the message which you sent me, and I will do all you desire concerning the cedar and cypress logs. My servants shall bring them down from Lebanon to the sea; I will float them in rafts by sea to the place you indicate to me, and they will be broken apart there. Then you can take them away. And you shall fulfill my desire by giving food for my household.’
So Hiram gave Solomon cedar and cypress logs according to all his desire. And Solomon gave Hiram twenty thousand kors of wheat as food for his household, and twenty kors of pressed oil. Thus Solomon gave to Hiram year by year. So the Lord gave Solomon wisdom, as He had promised him; and there was peace between Hiram and Solomon, and the two of them made a treaty together.
Then King Solomon raised up a labor force out of all Israel; and the labor force was thirty thousand men. And he sent them to Lebanon, ten thousand a month in shifts: they were one month in Lebanon and two months at home; Adoniram was in charge of the labor force. Solomon had seventy thousand who carried burdens, and eighty thousand who quarried stone in the mountains, besides three thousand three hundred from the chiefs of Solomon's deputies, who supervised the people who labored in the work. And the king commanded them to quarry large stones, costly stones, and hewn stones, to lay the foundation of the temple. So Solomon's builders, Hiram's builders, and the Gebalites quarried them; and they prepared timber and stones to build the temple.
I'm pretty sure that you never heard me mention Hiram Hodges. But Hiram Hodges was a brother of my father and therefore he was my uncle. Now even in those days the name Hiram was a little bit unusual. And he usually went by the name Ted, but his name was Hiram. I don't know whether my uncle really appreciated it or not. But he was really the recipient of one of the most honored names in the Bible.
In fact Hiram is not only an honored name but a highly neglected name in the Bible, because Hiram is one of the nicest men to meet us on the pages of Scripture. One of the areas in which Hiram excelled particularly was the area of friendship. In fact on a scale of one to ten, if you were measuring him for his ability to be a friend, I think you would give him a 10. Or if you were rating him by four stars, he would get all four of the stars. He was an outstanding individual friend.
Now we are told here that he was originally a friend of David. And when David dies and Solomon ascends the throne of Israel, Hiram sends messengers to King Solomon. We're not told what these messengers said to Solomon, but the chances are good that they congratulated Solomon on becoming king. Probably, Hiram offered to be supportive and to be helpful in any way that he could to the new king. In other words, Hiram is offering not only to have been the friend of David, but also to become the friend of David's son.
So here King Solomon meets a case in point about the proverb that we read a little bit ago. You remember that it says, “Your own friend and your father's friend, do not forsake.” Well here was a man who qualified as his father's friend and was now seeking to qualify as Solomon's friend. And very wisely Solomon opens himself up to this friendship. And he sends a message back to King Hiram that goes like this. He says to King Hiram, “You remember how my father David was not able to build a temple to the Lord like he wanted to because he had so many wars and God was putting his enemies under his feet.”
But now, he says, I don't have any wars. I am surrounded by peace on every side. I don't have any enemies and I'm proposing to build a house for God. In fact, he says, “That's what God told my father David that one of his sons would do. And I want to be that son.” He's saying in fact, “I want to build the house.” And he says, “I'm going to need help.” And what he says to Hiram is, “I need to have your men join with my men in cutting down timber.”
Now please understand that Hiram had a kingdom that was north of Israel and on the coast of what we now know is the country of Lebanon. And that's a mountainous region there and there were tall and good trees that grew in the Lebanese mountains. And apparently Hiram had not only power over Tyre but also power over the nearby city of Sidon. And Solomon says you know that there are no people that can cut down timber the way the Sidonians can. So if you would let your men go with my men, I'll pay the wages for your men. I would like your cooperation in this project.
Notice what Solomon is doing. Hiram has extended to him the hand of friendship and Solomon is reaching out to grab the hand and take advantage of this friendship. And he is sharing his plans with this friend of his father. And he is inviting this friend of his father to cooperate with him, in what is unquestionably the greatest project that Solomon undertook at any point in his reign.
Let me just pause here to remind you something, that I'm sure that you all know. That one of the greatest gifts that God gives us in life is the gift of friendship. In fact, studies have been made that suggest that married couples ought to cultivate friendships outside the marriage. I have more to say about the marriage side of it in a moment, but it has been suggested that it's good for the husband to have a good friend or two of the male sex. And it's good for the woman to have a good friend or two of the female sex.
And so friendship is one of the valuable and important aspects of life. And I've been around long enough to know that the number of real good friends that you are able to accumulate over a period of years are relatively small. But when you do find a real good solid reliable and enduring friend, then you have found something that is really, really significant in life.
And what I see here in this passage, first of all, is a wise king opening himself up to the friendship of another king. Now there are a lot of things that Solomon could have said here. He could have said, “Hey, Hiram was my father's friend and he's a little bit old for me. And I prefer to have my own friends.” Or he might have said, “Hiram is a Gentile and I simply cannot share my project in building the temple for the Lord My God with a Gentile. I'm going to leave him out of this.” Not so. Solomon opens himself up completely to this man who has been his father's friend.
“Your own friend and your father's friend,” says the proverb, “should not be forsaken.” You might think for a moment whether you have in fact a solid friendship outside of your marriage, perhaps. Is there someone that you can talk to freely? Is there someone you can share your plans with? Is there someone you can share your problems with? Is there somebody that you can depend on and that you would like to have them participate, where they can, in the projects that you're undertaking?
Maybe if you don't have one, it would be good to ask God to bring one into your life, because these people can be very important people indeed. And Hiram certainly became an important figure in David's life.
Now Hiram's response to this is equally interesting. Hiram does not say I am very delighted to be the friend of David's son, although he was delighted to be that. Neither does he say I'm delighted to be the friend of a powerful king, like Solomon obviously is at this point. Notice what he says in verse 7. “So it was, when Hiram heard the words of Solomon, that he rejoiced greatly and said, ‘Blessed be the Lord this day, for He has given David a wise son over this great people!’”
Does that impress you? That impresses me. This is a Gentile king, folks, who lives up in the city of Tyre, north of Israel. And when he hears about the plans that Solomon has, he says, “Praise the Lord. Blessed be the Lord, who has given to my friend David, a wise son to sit on his throne.” That was one of the things that made Hiram, obviously a very good friend. He shared with David and now shares with Solomon, a reverence and respect for the Lord, the God of Israel.
Do I need to tell you, that your friendships are not going to go very far with people, who do not share your faith in the Lord, do not share your commitment to the Lord? Frankly they're not going to understand a lot of your motives. They're not going to understand some of the things that you're really pursuing in life.
We were hearing this morning about, what are we seeking? If we have real friends from God, what we really want are Christian friends, who have a reverence and respect for the Lord.
Now, Hiram is only too glad to consent to the request that Solomon has given him. Now I want you to notice something about this response. Did you notice it as we were going through it? He says, “First of all, I'm going to do all that you desire with regard to the cypress and cedar logs. I'm gonna do what you ask.” But notice, that Hiram says, he doesn't say this, but his words indicate it. Hiram is going to do more than Solomon had asked him for. Because he goes on to say, “I'm gonna have my servants load them on rafts. They're going to float them down to whatever place on the coastline of Israel where you want these logs to be taken. My servants will break them up for you. And then you will be able to carry them wherever you want them to go.”
Notice that, Hiram is a man, who goes beyond what he has been asked to do. “Not only, will I do what you asked. But I will do more than you have asked.” Again, isn't that one of the marks of friendship? Do you want a friend, who barely makes the contribution that you're looking for? Do you prefer a friend who is willing to go the extra mile and make your extra sacrifice and take the extra step?
Turning it around, is that the kind of friend you are? Do you in your friendships go beyond what your friend might have expected you to do? Do you offer them more help than they are really requesting?
But, then you'll notice that Hiram has this to say at the end of verse nine. He says, “And you shall fulfill my desire by giving food for my household.” Some of us might say, “He's not much of a friend. He's going to make Solomon pay for this.” I don't agree with that. And the reason, I don't agree with it is, because it is part of friendship, not only to give but to receive.
Find me a relationship in which all the giving is coming from one side, and I will find you a relationship that doesn't work. That isn't a real friendship. And a real friend, not only is willing to help and willing to help beyond the call of duty, but a real friend is willing to receive. A real friend is willing to give to their friend the opportunity to contribute to them.
There was a study made one time, which really asked the question, “Who do you tend to like better, a person who does something for you or a person who lets you do something for them?” You know what the results were? The results showed that people tend to like better the person who allows them to do something for them. And all friendships have to be reciprocal.
And you'll notice that Hiram doesn't say, “I'm going to ask for this much and this much and this much.” He said, “Your contribution to this, can be food for my household.” Now when the message gets back to Solomon, Hiram comes through on his deal and notice what Solomon does in verse 11. “And Solomon gave Hiram twenty thousand kors of wheat.” You may be interested to know that it has been suggested, one kor of wheat was about 6 1/2 bushels. So now you multiply 6 1/2 bushels by 20,000. When you multiply that, you get about 130,000 bushels of wheat.
As a liquid measure, a kor was about 60 gallons. So if he gave 20 kors in a liquid measure, that would be about 1,200 gallons of pressed oil. Now that was a yearly contribution. Do you notice this? Solomon is giving lavishly.
Now he's not asking Hiram, mind you. He's not asking Hiram to give him cedar every year, because his objective is to build the house of God. But apparently, Solomon goes beyond the point that Hiram had requested. And he gives him all this wheat and all of this pressed oil, year after year after year after year.
So what do these friends do? They run a competition in giving. They have both the grace of giving and also the grace of receiving. You know, I've met people and known of people, who just simply can't let anybody do for them. And they have to be the doer. But in friendship you have to give and you have to receive. And good friends like to give, not in a restrictive way but lavishly, generously and unstintingly.
So God declares this a wise process, notice in verse 12: “So the Lord gave Solomon wisdom, as He had promised him; and there was peace between Hiram and Solomon, and the two of them made a treaty together.” This is very wise. This is an expression of Solomon's wisdom, that he forms this relationship and involves Hiram in the building of the temple.
The closing verses of the chapter tell us how the cooperative venture worked out. What Solomon does, is to designate 30,000 men as workers in the mountains of Lebanon. He sends 10,000 a month. They work for a month in Lebanon away from their homes. They come home and they're home for two months. He sends another 10,000 and then the third month another 10,000 and rotates on that basis.
Now Solomon also has lots of other servants, burden bearers and so on and the supervisors. And he needs not only timber but he needs hewn stone. He needs to cut out the stones, that will be part of the structure of the temple. He has said nothing at all to Hiram about the stones, but notice what we read in the last verse of the chapter: “So Solomon's builders, Hiram's builders, and the Gebalites quarried them.”
Now, I pause here to say that the Gebalites were from a city called Gebal, which was north of Hiram's city. The probability is that Hiram got the Gebalites involved with this. But, what I'm really interested in showing here, is that, Hiram did not just simply stop with his involvement in the timber process. He involves himself also in the preparation of the stones, that would go into the temple. And his builders and the Gebalites cooperate with Solomon's builders.
And by the time, we've reached the end of the chapter, what do we have? We have a cooperative venture. We have a partnership, kind of like Luis and I have in Redencion Viva. They are working together as friends on the greatest building project that Solomon would ever undertake. And for that matter, we might say the greatest building project in the history of the world. This is the first time that a building has been built under the command of God for the worship of the one true and living God.
And let's step back from this for just a minute, to evaluate what we've seen. Clearly this chapter deals with the preparations that are made for the building of the temple. But these preparations are founded upon a friendship and upon a cooperative venture between a Jewish king and a Gentile king. And I think that's significant, because you see, the temple that was being built was intended by God, not only to be for Jews but also to be for Gentiles.
Remember what Jesus said when He was kicking all the money changers and the sellers of animals out? He said, “My house shall be called a house of prayer for all nations.” God did not intend for just the Jews to worship in the temple. He intended for Gentiles to come from all over the world, to pray to Him and to worship Him in this house.
So this wonderful house that was to be a symbol of the unity of mankind in its worship of the true and living God, is founded at its very beginning on friendship. Does that tell us anything about the importance of friendship? I think it does. I think it tells us how very significant and how very important friendship is.
Now I've been talking about friends, that you might have outside of the home. But I would like to also suggest, that friendship can and should exist within the home and between spouses. Years ago, when I was a student at Wheaton College, the president of the college was Dr. V. Raymond Edman. You know that he never referred to his wife, as “my wife” or “the wife said this or something like that.” He always, I never heard him refer to her any other way, he always referred to her as “friend-wife.” “Friend-wife.” That made a great impression on me, because to think that in his marriage he considered his wife his friend.
And I've heard over the years many people say, “My best friend is my husband. My best friend is my wife.” And that's the way it ought to be. In fact, one of the things that is wrong with a lot of marriages, is that the husband and wife are married but they're not friends. They're not friends.
You know, what often happens when the children grow up and leave the roost? Statistics show that many marriages crack up. You know why? The children were the glue. And the husband and wife find they have nothing in common. Another way of saying this is, they find they're not friends. They were living under the same roof. They were guiding the home. They were raising the children. But, the common ground between them just simply wasn't there.
So I'm going to ask you married folks this afternoon to assess your friendship with your spouse, whether you're husband whether you're wife, it doesn't matter. In this passage we have seen standards by which we can assess our friendship.
Are you first of all, open to friendship with your spouse in the way that Solomon was open to the friendship of Hiram? Are you open to that friendship? Are you willing to share your thoughts and plans and activities with your spouse, as Solomon shared this tremendous project of his with his friend, King Hiram? Are you willing to contribute to this friendship? Are you willing to involve yourself in the projects of your spouse? Or do you let your spouse go their way and you go your way? Do you have cooperative ventures with your spouse?
Another way of saying this is, “What are you building with your spouse? Are you building a life that is centered around the Lord? Are you contributing to your spouse's ministry for the Lord? Are you contributing wherever you can to the everyday work life that your spouse has? Are you interested in that? Do you want the spouse to come home and tell you how the day went? Are you friends? I mean friends.”
Don't you see, that the Temple of God was built on friendship. And everything that we build in life that's worthwhile will also be built on friendship. And our relationship to Jesus Christ is first of all that of Savior, but if that's as far as we carry it, we don't build much of a life, until we discover what it is to be a friend of Jesus Christ.
Remember He said, “Greater love has no man than this, that he lay down his life for His friends.” The paradigm of love for Jesus Christ was the love of friendship. And so every love that we have that is worthwhile ought to be a love of friendship. Whatever else it is, it ought to be of friendship.
And Jesus said, you remember, “Henceforth I do not call you servants; because a servant doesn't know what his master is doing: but I have called you friends; because all things that My Father has showed Me, I have made known to you. A servant does not know what his master does, but I have shown you what I am doing. You are My friends, if you do whatsoever I command you.”
Jesus Himself invites us into friendship. And we ought to have first and foremost friendship with the Lord Jesus Christ. But, we ought to have other friends. There's a verse in Proverbs also, I think another of Solomon's proverbs, Proverbs 18:24 that says, “A man who has friends must show himself friendly.”
We will never make a friend and you will certainly never make a friend out of your spouse, unless you show yourself open and friendly to that relationship. Someone has said that, “A friend is one who multiplies joy and divides grief.” That's good isn't it? Joy is better if shared with the friend. Grief is cut in half if we have a friend who's sharing that grief with us.
Another statement about friendship was, “A watch that beats true for all time and never runs down.” I like that. A friend is like a watch that beats true for all time and never runs down.
I'm going to close with my favorite story about friendship. I'm hoping you don't remember this. I have told it before, but it's such a good story. It's one of those stories that you like to tell frequently. There were two young men in World War I, who were friends. They had been friends since their youth. They had lived close together. They'd gone to the same schools together. They had competed in the same athletics programs together. And they joined the army to serve in World War I together.
And as situation would have it, they wound up on the battlefield together. One day after a particularly fierce battle out in an area known as no-man's land, one of the friends came back but the other friend was missing. And so the friend that had returned, went to his commanding officer and he requested permission to go back out and into no-man's land to look for his friend. And the commanding officer denied him permission. He said, “Nobody could possibly be alive out there, after all of those hours of withering fire.” But this young man persisted and continued to ask for permission to go out and look for his friend. So finally, the commanding officer relented and sent him out.
Some time later the commanding officer saw him come back with the limp and lifeless body of his friend laid across his shoulders. And the commanding officer said to him, “Didn't I tell you, there was no use to go?” And the young man replied with a light in his eyes, “Oh, but it was!” He said, “You see, I got there just in time to hear him whisper, ‘I knew you'd come.’”
Now, it seems to me that, that's the best possible definition of a friend. It's somebody that you know will come in the moment of adversity. Somebody who's there for you. That's the way it ought to be in our friendships. And that's the kind of friends that we ought to be to other people.